The Wheel Deal collide with Barcelona to attend the Spanish Grand Prix, where he was ushered into a backstage world of technical secrets, billionaire fans and svelte models
Usually I onset my Sundays with an average cup of coffee and a semi-tepid bowl of Jungle Oats. So to be washing down a only some smoked salmon canaps (dolloped with caviar, I might add) with an sub-zero flute of Mumm champagne is an enormously far-out experience.
Today I am a VIP guest of Shell and Scuderia Ferrari at the Spanish Formula One Grand Prix, Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya. Being generous folk theyve let me voluminous inside what is perhaps one of the a large amount exclusive and sought-after hospitality areas the Formula One circus has to offer: the Cage Club. A staple at both of the 19 calendar events, here it stretches right across the roof of the circuits pit fixation, giving lucky those such as myself an unrivalled view of the chief straight and garages below.
It attracts a unique profile of person. Colonize who look like theyve just stepped prevented of a Patek Philippe or Ralph Lauren reproduction advertisement. Silver foxes with gold-framed sunglasses swagger around with their long-legged model girlfriends, who, once feigning mild profit in the GP2 and Porsche Supercup support races, retire to a postpone and assemble glued to their bedazzled iPhones. One gets the feeling that theyd rather be at home in the mansion, catching out of bed on Greys Anatomy.
It seems like such an awful waste because downstairs, beneath this chamber of opulence, theres a sneaky and largely unseen world thats ours for the viewing. Leaving these divas to their Facebook duties, I result my red-trousered Ferrari concierge down into the hi-octane bowels of the Formula One cage a vehicular battleground where solitary the largest budgets and biggest egos command steer you missing from defeat.
It is a completely surreal affair. A geometric maze of pantechnicon trucks painted with the names and logos of various blue-chip sponsors, this is where completely the magic actually happens. Whereas mechanics scoot in and prevented of pit garages like frantic worker ants, a little of the drivers are being chaperoned to and from their motor homes.
Sebastien Vettel gives a rushed wave to Jackie Stewart who, for a 74-year-old, is looking annoyingly hip in a pair of tartan slacks and matching flat cap. As Damon Hill tries to intercept Lewis Hamilton for a short TV interview, I spy a kid striding alongside Fernando Alonso, a smartphone in his open arm. That should render a wicked selfie.
I entertain the idea of responsibility the unaffected with Kimi Rikknen except, and perhaps its for the most excellent, previous to I be capable of urge to my camera Im whisked off to the top-secret Shell Trackside Laboratory erected outside the Ferrari all-time low.
Im expecting great of a marketing hard-sell. One of individuals overhyped and overdramatised accounts of how these two wonderful brands are pushing both other into a brave new world of tremendous innovation et cetera.
Except in fact it proves to be rather intriguing. For inside this compact mobile lab engineers be capable of analyse smear with oil samples from both of the two Ferrari cars once every gathering. A modern Formula One engine is a fixation beast comprising a propos 80 000 works. Capable of revving to 15000rpm (a large amount road cars first prevented around 6000rpm), it generates a little stern heat too. Piston temperatures repeatedly collide with the 300C mark whereas the turbocharger command easily soar right out of bed to a blistering 1000C. Think of it as a piece of hell imprisoned in a little aluminium box.
So by incessantly attractive smear with oil samples as the weekend unfolds, the Shell engineers are able to discover Scuderia Ferrari exactly how their engines are holding out of bed, how hard their two drivers be capable of expect to promote them during qualifying and, God forbid, if here are some mechanical gremlins loitering on the horizon.
Fuel samples are besides placed under the microscope to make sure they are free from contaminants that might ruin their eligibility. Current Formula One fuel set of laws are tied out of bed with supplementary ruby tape than a South African leadership gazette, so even the slightest adjust to their chemical arrangement might lead to prohibition.
So these are incredibly valuable military to have at your disposal, ones that the less significant teams like Marussia and Caterham austerely have to do without.
Once being flung prevented of the lab (the powers that be are very wary of spies, you see), I am led into the actual Scuderia Ferrari pit where well-groomed gallop technicians are making conclusive touches to the two scarlet racecars of Alonso and Rikknen.
A picture perfect example of order accessible under chaos, the way they completely go a propos their highly specific jobs is mesmerising. Aside from being smooth and efficient, team members render positively that the pause in which they operate is kept cleaner than a surgeons theatre. How they do this under these pressure-cooker operating environment is beyond my comprehension.
Except they do, and a only some minutes previous to 2pm completely 22 cars bend prevented of the pit lane, complete the mandatory warm-up lap and assume their positions on the starting grid flanked by throngs of Spanish supporters.
Right now 44 unseen eyeballs are staring closely at the panel of light situated within spitting distance of our suite. And the split second they go prevented, the grandstands erupt to the anger of 132 pistons pumping in dissident unanimity.
Its a violent spectacle, except one that is not without its own subtle beauty. For inside this explosion of anger and bravado lurks a dexterity that wouldnt be prevented of place in the worlds a large amount demanding ballet production.
Charging down to the first corner at denouement to 300kmh, this school of technicoloured road sharks jostle for situation with mere millimeters to spare. You expect them completely to come together, to tangle in a bitty cloud of carbon fibre, except they never do. Nope, completely Im left with as they roar prevented of sight is the smell of hot stressed brakes wafting down the pit lane on the lazy afternoon breeze.
And so it continues for lap once high-speed lap. At first it is nothing except a fog, a regular train of cars that snap past at a pace that makes you giddy. Except then gear calm down a little and the field begins to open out of bed as the two silver Mercedes onset building a sizeable lead.
Today nobody be capable of agree with the pace of Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg. Not even Vettel, the reigning world champion. The Spanish Grand Prix soon becomes great of a foregone conclusion, a cakewalk if you command.
Providentially here are other gear to focus on, like the last-minute shove among Rikknen and Alonso, the ridiculously short pit stops (a little purchase little supplementary than two seconds), and the sonic character of individuals new V6 turbo engines.
On TV they rigorous a trace pants. In the flesh, however, theyre actually rather good. Different except good. Like a giant industrial knife sharpener honing the devils hatchet.
Once Hamilton eventually takes to the first action of the plinth and the track is opened to the fans, a little of whom instantaneously onset combing its verges for souvenirs (chunks of rubber and what not), even I, a trace of a cynic, have to divulge that here is silent a little magic to be had in Formula One.
Beneath that cold veneer of hardboiled professionalism resides a glamour thats clung to this sport since the era it began. The kind of which is probably a large amount evident when experiencing a gallop from the elite surrounds of the Cage Club. If solitary every Sunday might feel this special.
